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Final Realization of Failure

by Nahja Mora

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    Two-sided Drekavac-Goat-Christ shirt; large silk screened collage design on front with 2019 Nahja Mora logo on upper back. Printed by Sage Screenprinting (Baltimore.) LIMITED DESIGN.

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1.
Canine 07:15
and you throw away go tear apart. kill it all away so you shake your head beat it all down. wreck it all dead. speak up and twist speak out and twist it nothing ever gets solved circle flaw circle flaw please believe nothing ever fixed. nothing ever fixed. elsewhere in another world sometimes i feel like healing elsewhere in another place sometimes i feel like trying somewhere not here i get a moment of breath and somewhere imaginary i know there's escape. hold on to me if you want to hold on to me if i ask you hold on to me it's falling hold on to me i'm going away no peace emergency there is no peace my entire life is emergency hold on to me if you want to hold on to me if i ask you hold on to me it's falling hold on to me i'm going away
2.
Atramentous 06:42
you want it black and sleek with kisses upon the other cheek affluent problems solved and said we'll rule the wicked when they're dead shine on through damn wolves drawing pictures of broken bones skinning alive your father's name rotting apart all the same. you want endless voids a collection of empty words raising matters to an empty room dressing infection in perfume daylight creeps out on this dirt played and timid and full of hurt your tone reveals this weakness frames the distance between us. celebrate. and i can see the future: we're caught in this forever illusion, illusion wrapped in black pretend to say something but really give nothing illusion, illusion wrapped in black there is no ending. you'll be there and i'll be here because i say so. because i saw it don't you see it? you'll be there and i'll be here and nothing would be more boring. and i can see the future: we're caught in this forever illusion, illusion wrapped in black pretend to say something but really give nothing illusion, illusion wrapped in black
3.
4.
Black Eye 06:52
it was only once i know that i deserved it he strikes through the brow though you offer a handshake and you'll change your hair and you'll stand again and you'll let it slide and you'll hide in dark and you'll count the time and say "sorry" and you'll be bruised and you'll be thrown but you can sleep it off and you'll feel crushed and you can't breathe but just let it go you know this is out of time please don't sit and listen i know it's hard to say but some things shouldn't stay you'll shudder at a touch you can't just excuse it i'm sorry you saw that i still saw it. "only women bleed" saying it to excuse it worth is not prescribed, threats are not affection. torn lips are not sex, control is not protection. black eyes are not liner, i'm afraid you won't get it. i'm afraid.
5.
Rabbit 06:00
6.
i remain alone outside you had it all thread bare, thin soled this is what i must deserve pushed down the same stairs naked lies all along you said you cared you said you cared. do not think i do not know you try to break all i do i don't care what you say everything i have left is fucking grey fucking grey. this is what i must deserve you all just sit and stare no one ever wakes to see will anyone ever answer me? faith in self, blinding lies rapists, thieves side by side throwing tantrums, eating shit vomiting attention for the flies wrap your legs around for warmth paint your nostrils to feel some worth keep your head up on a spire feed your ego, become the liar. this is what i must deserve. stagnant and stupid pushed aside again i watch your plans to cripple me, my friend. i remain collecting pieces for your game i remain collecting pieces for your game i remain, you will never kill my name i remain yet you left me stained. again with all advice i'll never need you i watch your tries to smother the voice i had i remain collecting pieces for your game i remain collecting pieces for your game i remain, you will never kill my name i remain yet you left me stained. I remain in your stupid game.

about

this is the mark
this is the mantra.

credits

released January 31, 2019

all songs written, arranged, programmed, and performed by josef saint
recorded at the InjuryBox 2018
mastered by Eric Oehler at Submersible Studios
© 2019 Nahja Mora

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Nahja Mora Baltimore, Maryland

soundtracks for shattered minds.

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